I'm a clothes dork.

Hi. I started up a fashion blog because I keep buying new cute clothes and I need to be a dork about it and that stuff doesn't quite fit into this blog.

rhiifashion.blogspot.co.uk

Dead Fishy (radio script)

I wrote a radio drama script for college and it got a distinction, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Dead Fishy © Rhiannon Rendell 2014

A Musical Adventure (how to organise a gig)

A music documentary about Adventure, a Christmas gig organised by 16 year old Dan Simpson in 2013. Dan talks about This Venture, an unconventional music group, the process of organising a gig and the challenges such a eccentric group face in this endeavour.

Happy Saturday

colour of iceland

South Suffolk and Essex Trip

Soo when my dad took a wrong turn to get back to my grandparent's home in Harwich from Colchester Tuesday evening, we spent an hour driving the country roads. I demanded we take those roads again Wednesday with a camera in my hands. We proceeded to take a 5 hour road trip across the border to Suffolk and back, seeing Manningtree, Pin Mill, Shotley, Mistley, Wrabness, and some other little places along the way.

(more photos)

Returning.

Long time since I wrote, eh? It's been a weird couple of months so far this year. Losing people and finding new ones and having things with existing people get shaken up and some dealing with it well, others less so.

When is enough enough?

I consider myself a feminist. Several male friends and acquaintances called me a 'feminazi' because I am vocal about this cause, even when I do not attack them personally, even if I only comment on their problematic behaviour occasionally (because actually the men in my life do not behave too badly).

I'm also into media. When my passion for media and feminism combine, sparks often fly between me and my male friends yet again. I tend to focus on the issues surround Doctor Who, one of the most watched sci fi tv shows in the world. It has a massive audience, ranging from children to OAPs and some of the groups who watch it are vulnerable and impressionable. So when I try and talk about the sexism and homophobia in the most recent series of such an important show, I get knocked back a lot.
You can call it a clash of opinions, that I'm bias against Steven Moffat (current show runner and head writer), that I don't see all the 'facts', but sometimes I don't want to fight anymore.

I might be vocal online, but I am not constantly vocal. I am not constantly angry and I do not want to be. I don't want to be harassed randomly to change my opinions - sorry, look at this other person's ideas and see that I'm wrong about some things because these are facts and I'm not aware of all the evidence against my beliefs (which trust me, I am not). But it happens. And frankly, I'm tired of it.

Maybe the timing has been all wrong recently, what with the anniversary of my grandfather's death today, but I'm done. I seriously considered closing my facebook account for a while because I'm tried of fighting with people then being told that there are more important things (by the person who started the discussion btw). I seriously considered closing my twitter so I wouldn't have to deal with anything on there either, though that is rarer. The only place I feel safe talking about this anymore is now tumblr because I created a safe place there. I don't even feel fully comfortable talking about this here. But I've had friendships and relationships ruined and seriously affected by my vocalisation and I am upset about that.

I'm not going to blame anyone. I'm not going to say certain people drove me to feel isolated, fearful of speaking my mind and generally ganged up on because I could never allow myself to let other people make me feel so horrible about myself. The doubt and insecurity has always been there, from the first time I was called a feminazi to my face a year and a half ago to the most recent "you don't listen to straight white men's opinions" comments (which I found unfair and untrue, but maybe I worded something wrong).

I promise I have no problem with debate. I have no problem with people with other ideas to me. But I'm starting to feel bullied and harassed, both online and in real life, and I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to cope with the constant strain of trying to prove I am still a good person with valid opinions. I would just like to be cut some slack for a little bit and if that means I have to stop being vocal and active in certain places, maybe that's the right thing for me to do. I haven't spoken to the people involved with the latest 'discussion' in three days and frankly I don't know if that will change any time soon. One of them I doubt I'll ever speak to again. This is not a healthy way for me to live my life. I should not be scared to talk to my friends about something that matters to me, no matter how different their opinion on the matter is. This isn't about who's right and who's wrong. This is about my feelings and my mental wellbeing, and I'm sorry if that sounds so bloody selfish, but when I start feeling so worthless and alone, I can't sit here and do nothing. Even if writing this blog post is the most I can do right now.

6 things I missed about my kitchen

In a kind of sequel to 6 things I missed about my bed, I am writing this list of things I missed about my kitchen. I went to visit my grandparents in Essex over new year and they don't have a normal gas or electric cooker or oven. They have an AGA. For those of you who have never had to deal with one of these things, it's like a massive hunk of whatever AGAs are made of (I think iron?) and it is always on. It' can be like having a fireplace in your kitchen but a metal block you put food in. But I have no idea how to do anything with it apart from make toast on the hob on the top. There are a few other mysteries about my grandparent's kitchen so here is my list of things I missed about my kitchen.

Take photos.

I am staying with my grandparents in Essex, in this little seaside town called Harwich. I really like taking photos at the beach.

adventure again!

So I posted a few photos from the Adventure gig, now here's some videos!

This Venture perform Emmylou (First Aid Kit cover)

The Regal Narwhals perform Step Into Christmas (Elton John cover)

This Venture perform O Come, O Come Emmanuel

This Venture & The Regal Narwhals perform Winter Winds (Mumford & Sons cover)

This Venture & The Regal Narwhals perform Jingle Bells.

There is of course a playlist of these videos and a playlist of all the music I've filmed for my friends. Merry freakin' Christmas.

This Venture: facebook, twitter
The Regal Narwhals: facebook

adventure!

As a regular reader of my blog, you probably know my involvement with a certain Dan Simpson and a certain musical collective This Venture. Well, this weekend Dan organised a lovely little gig with the title adventure. It was Christmasy and fun and all organised by the bearded boy himself. Well, not entirely by him, that would be insane but I think he's taking most of the credit but is being most humble about it. I think I've expressed my pride in him about a million times.

Should The Doctor have done the thing?

THERE ARE DOCTOR WHO SPOILERS HERE.
So someone sent me a question on tumblr about my thoughts on the plot of The Day of The Doctor, about if the original plan should have happened. They asked me to reply privately to it but I want to share what I wrote back so I thought I'd stick it on my little blog and just share it with my friends. My thoughts aren't particularly detailed but I honestly hadn't given it much thought. It's more of a stream of consciousness.

This Venture did a gig (October 12th, part one)

So This Venture did an awesome gig a few weeks ago and I was cool enough to film it for them. I'm in the midst of editing the whole set but four of the songs are online already. Check em out!

This Venture: Twitter + Facebook

6 things I missed about my bed

So I went to visit my best friend at her uni and I had to share a bed with her, which was absolutely fine. It was a double and she doesn't wiggle much, and her snoring wasn't too awful. It was very much the better bed sharing experience I've had this year. I had to share a single bed with someone and I barely got two hours sleep because I was so uncomfortable. So here's the list of things I missed about my own bed.

This Venture rehearsals

So you know I take photos and video this musical collective I know, right? Of course you do, when do I ever shut up about Dan and the gang. Well, they've been rehearsing recently for a gig tomorrow and I've been sitting there causing distraction as usual...

Here's a video I did last week to promote them! It features Dan, John, Shanon and Matt and was super fun to film, edit and just generally be involved with. It's a great environment to be in with these guys and their music.

Wrecking Ball thoughts

I was curious so I watched Miley Cyrus' music video for Wrecking Ball. I'd seen gifs and screen captures of it: a nude Cyrus in a destroyed grey room, an extreme close up of her teary face. It was noticing a lyric that drew me in at last.

Being aware of worlds

I am an introvert. I enjoy being alone at least as much as I like being around other people, even if my feelings for myself are not always satisfactory. It's very easy being alone: the stress and anxiety of trying to please people, trying to make them or keep them liking you, being tactful, being interested in them, being funny, being mentally there with them - that disappears when you are alone.

But so do worlds. Worlds are that other people's lives, their minds, and presence. It is easy to distract yourself alone so you do not feel lonely, you do not miss having new worlds to explore. It's easy to get lost in your own mind. It's easy to think you don't need outside validation that you exist, that you matter, that your world has worth. And it's easy to forget how good it really feels.

And then suddenly, you are thrown back into that situation where you are made aware.

I walked into a room last night, fashionably late, obviously. I couldn't turn up on time, I didn't know every person I knew would be in that room. What if no one I knew was there yet? What do I say? How do I make people like me, make them pay attention to me until my friends do come? No, I avoided that. And as I took a second to look around at the people, to see who I recognised, which was tricky as most of them were wearing masks, I remember hearing a voice or two. I remember my head jerking to look in that direction. I saw my friends and I saw their faces lift a little. I saw widened smiles and sparkling eyes. And they were around me quicker than I could comprehend, arms around me, complaints that my hugs were too hurried and the interest in their voices as they asked how I was. In those seconds I was so aware of my existence in the world, in their worlds and theirs in mine. It is a beautiful feeling to know you mean something. It is easy to survive when you have forgotten how nice it is, but it shouldn't be.

Get nerd culture out of my goddamn face.

It's 2013 and it's finally the nerd uprising. For decades nerds, geeks and enthusiasts of books, cult tv shows and movies, and anything considered intellectual have been ridiculed  - or, at least, popular culture has told us so. Teen movies have shown us the popular jock/cheerleader/socialite character bullying and abusing the nerd type character for simply being 'different'. The book reader, the tea drinker, the loner, all social outcasts. But no more! These days, it's almost trendy to be a nerd.

Eyes

These ones are mine.

p9