De-stress

I'm stressed okay. I'm stressed because it's nearly the end of my first year at college. I'm stressed because I have deadlines I'm scared I can't keep. I'm stressed because I can't talk to my teachers. I can't even look them in the eye the days I manage to get into college. I'm stressed because I had a small emotional upheaval in my social life. I'm stressed because my friends are stressed over exams and I sympathise. I'm stressed because I have low self esteem and no ambition. I'm stressed because I've forgotten what I love and I've forgotten to do it.
So I remembered to do something I love. I picked up a camera and went on an adventure. Fueled with my favourite coffee-based treat, a soundtrack I only discovered in the last few weeks and probably not a thick enough jumper, I filmed stuff. I tried to find nice angles and spaces. I didn't care if it didn't turn out well, I just liked pointing and pressing the button and trying my best not to shake my hands too much.

I wasn't going to do anything with this. I told someone I wasn't. But I was inspired after finishing an old project. I picked a song. I opened adobe premiere. I spent a couple of hours cutting to beat, a trademark of mine. I feel calm now. I forgot how much I love this pure creativity.

I'm sorry I forgot, there were things. Now I want to do this all summer. I want to film flowers and clouds and my friends and music and happiness. I love that.